


When Forgiveness is Reached

by the_federalist_papers



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander - Freeform, Angst, Death, Eliza - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Forgiveness, Hamliza, Hate, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Love/Hate, NOT a Hamilton and Angelica fic, Philip - Freeform, Philip fixes things, Philip loves Theo, Sad, Sadness, The Reynolds Pamphlet, alexander loves eliza, eliza is amazing, hamilton is emotional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-12 20:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7948813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_federalist_papers/pseuds/the_federalist_papers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Alexander reaches the point of forgiveness and how Eliza makes it there as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Forgiveness is Reached

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story on here... I'm trying to figure this out. I'm sorry in advanced. Also if you have a prompt you would like me to do just comment it or let me know. Thank you!

15 year old Philip had gone out fetch the paper, completely oblivious to the fact that inside the paper contained a 95 page pamphlet written by his father. Eliza was also not aware of the fact that her calm July morning would be ruined so early.

 

Eliza smiled at Philip when he placed the paper down in front of her. She had just finished her morning routine of cleaning up the dishes from breakfast and the youngest of the children were already down for their morning naps. She sat in Alexanders chair in the living room with her tea as she did every morning that he was away at work.

 

She could very well sit in her own chair which was only only a few feet away but, there was something that she had always loved about sitting in his chair; maybe it was the fact that the chair always smelled like him or maybe it was the fact that there was an indent on the arm of the chair where he would always lean on while reading.

 

The daily newspaper was Eliza's only chance to really get a look on the politics that were happening around her. She couldn't talk to the other women she knew because not many of them could read and if they could they certainly weren't interested in politics like she was; Alexander always understood that his wife had an interest in politics and he would try to give her his inside scoop on what he knew was happening but, most of what Eliza really heard was just him talking about how "Thomas Jefferson is an asshole." So she just relied on the paper to give her the insight she really wanted.

 

When Eliza had come to the end of the paper she noticed a thick group of papers  _The Reynolds Pamphlet._ When she had noticed that the author was her very own Alexander Hamilton, she was extremely confused as to why he hadn't told her about such a large piece of writing. She was about to read the pamphlet when John, the youngest of the Hamilton children being 5 years old, decided to walk into the living room. 

 

"Mama, I'm not sleepy anymore." John walked to Eliza and climbed into her seat. Eliza held him as close as she could, being very pregnant she couldn't sit him on her lap. 

 

"Alright, how about you go to the yard and play with James and Alex." She smiled at her youngest as he climbed down from the chair and made his way to the back door happily. 

 

Eliza picked up the pamphlet and began to read.

 

_The charge against me is a connection with one James Reynolds for purposes of improper pecuniary speculation. My real crime is an amorous connection with his wife, for a considerable time with his privity and connivance, if not originally brought on by a combination between the husband and wife with the design to extort money from me._

 

Eliza pushed herself up in he chair, her stomach sunk as she continued to read the writing.

 

_No man, tender of the happiness of an excellent wife could without extreme pain look forward to the affliction which she might endure from the disclosure, especially a public disclosure, of the fact. Those best acquainted with the interior of my domestic life will best appreciate the force of such a consideration upon me._

 

She could feel her chest tighten as she read over every word he wrote. For the first time in her life, she hated that Alexander was such a good writer, the thought brought tears to her eyes, she had never  _hated_ anything about him before.

 

The door slammed and Eliza sucked in a shaky breath. She put the paper down and stood up, making her way to the kitchen, to start supper for later that evening.

 

"Mom, would it be alright if I went into town to meet with a friend?" Philip appeared in the kitchen, and Eliza didn't have to fake a smile when she looked at one of her own.

 

"Yes. Did you already have lunch?" She reached forward to fix the collar of his shirt.

 

"I did, Angie fixed up lunch today." Philip smiled at his mother. 

 

"Alright, be home for supper." She told him and Philip rushed towards the door at the sound of his mothers permission.

 

Eliza began to fix supper. She had started to chop vegetables when the first tear hit her hand and her vision started to blur, her hand slipped and she dropped the knife on the floor.

 

She hissed out a curse, which she never did, and grabbed the knife to rinse it off.

 

"Mother, are you alright?" She turned around to see Angie at the side of the counter. Eliza immediately wiped her eyes.

 

"Oh yes, yes. It just frightened me." She told her daughter.

 

Angie hesitated before she nodded at her mother and slipped upstairs to her bedroom, Eliza sighed and turned around to finish cooking their meal. ~~~~ ~~~~

 

 

* * *

 

 

 Dinner had come and past and Alexander was still wasn't home, it didn't surprise her in the least. She would usually lay in bed and Alexander would climb in next to her after he had eaten the leftovers from that days supper. That night she couldn't bring herself to lay in that bed, the thought of laying in that bed, a bed that he had brought someone else into, disgusted her.

 

When she heard the front door close softly her whole body stiffened. She was sat in Alexanders chair, she had a book out but wasn't really reading it. The children had long since been put to bed and she was awaiting the horrible night she knew would soon come. 

 

After a little bit of rustling from the kitchen she heard the stairs creak as he climbed up to their bedroom. It wasn't long until Alexander noticed that Eliza wasn't in there and he came back down to the main floor. 

 

"Betsy?" Alexander called out and Eliza almost relaxed at the nickname that only he used, she stayed quiet and stared blankly at the book in her hands.

 

"Eliza." This time his voice was right in front of her and she dared to look up at him, regret was laced across his face.

 

Eliza closed the book before she stood up and tried to walk past him. He stood in front of her, blocking her path. She kept her head towards the ground. 

 

"Betsy, I'm sorry." His voice was small, Eliza just shook her head.

 

"You wrote that you were in need of a break..." Eliza backed up from him with her head still down. "Why was the one I offered you not enough?" Alexander was silent.

 

"Why was an escape with your family not enough for you?" She was hissing the words at him.

 

"I should have gone, Eliza. I shouldn't have said no"

 

"Would you have done the same thing if you were married to Angelica?" Eliza's voice broke and a tear dripped onto the floor, Alexanders breathing had immediately stopped.

 

She may have been quiet in most places but Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton was not dull. She could see the interest they had in each other, she had felt the pang of jealousy when she was too pregnant to attend events so Angelica would go for her, she had even come across more letters to Alexander than there were to herself.

 

Alexander on the hand knew there was no right answer. If he were to say 'yes' then he would be saying he would cheat all over again. If he were to say 'no' then he would be saying Angelica would be a better wife. Alexander of course knew the answer but he didn't want to admit that he would most likely cheat on anyone he was with so he had just stayed quiet.

 

Eliza gave a humorless laugh, more like a gasp of air. "Goodnight, Alexander." She angrily wiped her tears as she walked past him towards the stairs.

 

"Elizabeth, I love you." He called after her, practically begging her to say something to him. 

 

She stared straight into his eyes before disappearing upstairs into their shared room without another word.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Eliza woke up to the sound of laughter downstairs, she pulled herself out of the chair she had fallen asleep in. She couldn't bring herself to sleep in the bed, Eliza made her way downstairs and to see that James and John were happily jumping on their father, Eliza almost smiled before she remembered what she had read the day before. Alexander looked up and saw Eliza and he immediately stood up. 

 

"I thought that it might be best if I stayed home today." He said slowly, doubting himself as he said it. Eliza nodded and walked over to ruffle the boys' hair before walking back upstairs to get dressed. 

 

"Eliza!" Alexander called while he jogged to meet her at the top of the stairs. "C-could we talk later?" He reached for her hand but she pulled it away before he could reach it. 

 

"I suppose we should."  She turned and walked to the room to get dressed.

 

Just as she was pulling out a dress from her chest there was a knock at the door and Philip walked in, rubbing his hands together.

 

"Hello, Philip." She said smiling, this had gotten Philip's attention and he chuckled nervously. 

 

"Mom, you know Theodosia Burr right?" He sad down on the foot of the bed.

 

"Yes... Aaron Burr's daughter... I know her. Why are you asking me this?" Eliza asked and Philip looked up.

 

"Well... Would it be appropriate for me to court her?" Philip asked her and her eyes widened.

 

"Of course it is not! Not at your age!" She was blown away at the fact that he had asked such a question,

 

"No, of course not at my age, Mother!" Philip stood up and grabbed his mothers hands. "In a few years... I really do fancy her."  Eliza gave a small smile before speaking.

 

"Until the time comes when you may court her...I give you my permission to be friends with her." Eliza had told Philip. 

 

This information made Philip smile widely. It wasn't very often that parents would allow their children to be friends with someone of the opposite sex, especially if that knew they fancied each other.

 

"Thank you, Mother! Thank you!" With that he happily left the room, shutting the door behind him.

 

Eliza finished getting dressed and made her way downstairs. When she made it to the kitchen Alexander was already there, sitting at the small kitchen table. His hands were shaking and he was looking down but, when he looked up to see his wife he immediately sat up straight. 

 

"Philip and Angie took the little ones out for some fresh air." Alexander explains the silence of the house "Please, Eliza, sit." He gestured toward the chair next to him and Eliza sat down.

 

"I only have one inquiry for you." Eliza told him, she looked him straight in the eye. "Why wasn't I enough for you?" She asked him. Alexander had been able to see the pain in her eyes.

 

"You were enough...You _are_ enough" Alexander felt his eyes well up and he had tried to push the tears down.

 

"I was stressed but, I know that is no excuse. I am a _dunce._ More so than anyone I know, I am a bigger ass than Thomas Jefferson. You have to understand that I love you more than I have ever loved _anyone_." His voice cracked and a tear slipped down his cheek.

 

"I understand... I don't think that I can accept your feelings right now." Eliza told him and he nodded, his shoulders shook "I think it would be best if you slept in your office." Eliza finished strongly.

 

Once she had finished her thought she automatically stood up and made her way to her small study. She pulled out a piece of paper and started writing to her sister.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_(One Month Later)_

 

"Philip!" Eliza's yell could be heard across the whole house and Philip had almost instantly rushed into his mothers room. The sun hadn't risen yet but, Alexander had long since left for work.

 

"Mother, is it the child?" Philip asked frantically.

 

Eliza nodded, her jaw clenched in pain as another contraction passed through her. She waved Philip closer.

 

"Quickly, put on your coat and fetch a midwife." She put a hand on his shoulder and Philip rushed out of the room towards the front door.

 

Eliza was practically an expert at giving birth. With five children, she knew how her sixth one would work. She also knew that this birth would hurt just as much as all of the other births did. As much as she was repulsed by the idea of laying on that bed, she knew that she had to. She laid down and tried as hard as she could to stop the pain of the contractions.

 

"Mrs. Hamilton!" The midwife rushed into the room 

 

"Oh Louisa, hello, darling." Eliza smiled at her through the pain. "Where is Philip?" 

 

"He went to go get Mr. Hamilton." Louisa informed her and Eliza's smile faltered for a moment before another contraction took over.

 

"Alright Mrs. Hamilton, I'm going to see how dilated you are." Louisa told Eliza. Eliza was clutching onto the pillow next to her as she felt sweat bead on her forehead from the pain.

 

She felt her her hand being picked up and she glanced over to see Alexander. She was about to pull away when another burst of made her clutch onto his hand tightly.

 

"I've been here for every birth before. Let me stay by your side." Alexander said as he brought her hand up to kiss her knuckles. Eliza groaned in pain and Alexander stroked her head. As much as she wanted to be able to tell him to leave, she needed the comfort from him.

 

five hours later Alexander was holding his youngest son in his arms while his wife slept in the bed next to him.

 

"Oh little William, I want you to know that I love your mother very much." He had told the newborn. He had to tell someone, he wanted someone to listen to him. "She is possibly the most amazing person, you are very lucky to have her as your mother."

 

William suddenly started crying and Alexander bounced him. "I know, my speaking bores many people."  He cooed to the small child.

 

"He's hungry, Alexander." Eliza's eyes half open and laced with sleep.

 

"Well, I suppose I can't do anything about that." Alexander said and handed William over to here. Eliza took him and began to feed him. 

 

"Eliza, I-uh... Thank you." Alexander told her and her head shot up at him.

 

"For what?" Eliza asked him while rubbing William's back, 

 

"Just for being you. For being someone that could bless me with the greatest family and with the greatest wife." He told her and she looked away.

 

"Alexander..." Eliza protested him. 

 

"No, you don't have to say anything just let me talk. I know you hate me right now, I know it might be like this for a while; but I promise that I will do everything I can to make this right. I will not let this fall apart." Alexander sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hand on her thigh.

 

"Thank you." Eliza said softly and for the first time in a month she gave him a small smile.

 

Alexander smiled softly and took William once he had finished eating. He placed him in the small cot.

 

"Well... Goodnight, Betsy." Alexander walked towards the door.

 

"Wait, I suppose you could stay tonight... For William, of course." Eliza told him and he walked back over and sat back down on the bed.

 

"Yes, for William." He responded.

 

Alexander climbed underneath the covers and hesitated before placing his arm over her body. Eliza sunk into the familiar feeling of his warmth, as she fell asleep she almost forgot about the horrible thing he had done. 

 

* * *

 

 

_(Another month later)_

 

Eliza sat in her room clearing out old papers that she didn't need anymore when she came across a letter from her husband. She noticed that the date of the letter was from when her and the children were up at the Schuyler residence for the summer. It was in that moment when all of the pain truly hit her full on. He had been writing to his own wife while he was with another woman at the same time, he was able to write sweet nothings to Eliza while knowing that when he got home there would be another girl waiting for him. 

 

A sob broke out from Eliza suddenly and she quickly put a hand over her mouth to try and muffle the sound.

 

She clutched the paper in her hand and watched as her tears soaked the page and smeared the writing. 

 

"Mother?" Eliza's head shot up to find Philip standing in the door way. "Is this because of the pamphlet?"

 

Eliza was shocked he had even known of the pamphlet. "Where did you hear of the pamphlet?" She asked him quickly, trying to dry her eyes.

 

"It was left on the chair in the living area..."

 

"Philip you shouldn't have read that... Are you alright?" Philip shook his head at his mother.

 

"I asked you if you were alright, Mother." Eliza broke into another sob.

 

"Philip, my dear, we will be fine." Eliza told him but her voice was unconvincing. 

 

Philip felt the anger inside him grow as he turned and stormed towards his father's office. 

 

"Philip, don't!" Eliza called after him but Philip had a goal set in mind.

 

Philip threw the door to the office open without even sparing a knock. He just stared at Alexander with a glare.

 

"Philip? Wha-" Alexander started to speak but Philip cut him off.

 

"What did releasing the pamphlet solve?!" Philip yelled at him and Alexander immediately quieted. "You made the stupidest thing even more ridiculous!"

 

"Philip, do not take that tone with me." Alexander told him strictly. 

 

"I hope to never become like you" With that Philip stormed out of the room.

 

Philip didn't stop until he had made it to a tree that he knew Theodosia would be sitting under. He was ready to pour all of his thoughts out by the time he got there. 

 

* * *

 

_(Another month later)_

 

 For the first time in a long time Alexander felt completely and utterly _helpless_. He needed Eliza and he wasn't going to stop until he had her again.

 

"Eliza" He whispered softly, stroking her head while she slept. He had just been allowed back into their bed for the first time a few nights ago. "I love you so much." He kissed the top of her head and she stirred awake. 

 

"Alexander?" She looked up at him with sleepy eyes. 

 

"Do you want to know when I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you?" He asked her and she nodded slightly.

 

"It was when we had just started courting, you're father let you stay the weekend while he went away on business. I was working in my study and you came in with a book, sat down on my arm chair and just read. You just sat there and waited until I was done working." He brought his hand up to cup her cheek.

 

"When I was watching you read, I remembered why I was so drawn to you. You are smart, sweet, caring and so many other things that you still are today. I love you just as much as I did when we were young."

 

Eliza looked into his eyes and saw the eyes of the young man she had married, filled with love and want and need. Eliza lifted her head to so she was level with him and without warning she attached her lips to his. He immediately responded and moved his hand to her hair.

 

"Eliza." Alexander mumbled against her lips.

 

"I love you." Is all she said back to him and Alexander felt himself let out a sob.

 

Tears of happiness streamed down Alexanders face and he pulled Eliza into him and whispered sweet things against her shoulder. Eliza grabbed a hold of his hand and held it close to her, she was letting him know that he was granted something that he had wanted for a long time.

 

Forgiveness.  

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Like I said, this is my first so I am still figuring is out. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!! Also, there are actual parts from The Reynolds Pamphlet and I got them from this website if you would like to go look at them yourself. http://www.vulture.com/2016/01/read-the-actual-reynolds-pamphlet-from-hamilton.html 
> 
> IMPORTANT! 
> 
> If you have any prompts you would like me to do just drop it in the comments to let me know.
> 
> Thank you!


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